Earlier this year, an Australian mum received an anonymous message from ‘friends’ urging her to stop sharing baby photos on FB..
The letter was cowardly and cruel, of course, but haven’t we all silently cursed a parent who shares every second of their little snowflake’s lives?
Tagging photos with nothing but hashtags
#stop #bloody #doing #it #because #it’s #bloody #annoying #and #doesn’t #make #sense #anyway.
Making every single status update about your children
We’re following you. That’s you, the grown-up. With your grown-up posts about grown-up things.
Anything where you say ‘as a parent…’
Every time somebody says ‘well, speaking as a parent…’ a kitten dies.
Poor Jamie bumped his head climbing into our new SUV.
Olivia fell asleep during her A Level Physics exam but then she is only three.
Tarquin’s speech is so advanced I keep forgetting he’s still a foetus.
Comparing yourself to other parents
For many people Facebook is a performance, so people will post a dolled-up duckface selfie rather than a more realistic pic taken at 5am with bits of food in their fringe.
The camera might not lie, but the choice of uploads usually does.
Beware the curse of living online: posting stuff that’ll turn up in a Google search years from now. We’re creating digital footprints for our children, and they might not like what we’ve been sharing about them.
Don’t forget about privacy controls too: the default sharing options might be too wide. Do you really want your photos shared with the entire internet?
Mixing school run friends with old school friends
What makes your best friends laugh might horrify the mums and dads you know from the school run.
If you’re more Frankie Boyle than Fern Britton, limiting your posts’ audience might prevent awkwardness at the next parents’ evening.
According to the teaching union NASUWT, the number of teachers being abused online on social media has doubled in the last year – and while you might expect teenagers to be responsible, more than half of all incidents involved parents either acting alone or in cahoots with their kids. This is why we can’t have nice things.
Being Facebook friends with your kids
Assuming they’re old enough (under-13s aren’t supposed to be on Facebook at all) what could be nicer than being Facebook friends with your children? The answer, of course, is ‘not being Facebook friends with your children.’
There’s a reason you don’t hang around with your children and their pals in the real world, and that reason applies online too.
Complaining about what other parents post on Facebook
There’s no point! They don’t care!